Do not blame me for this one.
Blame Nicky: she was over the other day when I remarked that I wouldn't be able to post anything for Pieday this week since Eleanor is away at her Musical Theatre School and won't, therefore, be making pies.
Nicky suggested that I should get Phoebe to make some mud pies, I demurred, pointing out that I have almost no time between dropping Eleanor off on the bus in the morning and getting onto the bus again to go and pick her up.
I was going, said I, to write a blog about making pie when you suddenly need a pie, it would be called improPiesation Day and it would fill in nicely until Eleanor was available for pie-making.
But my mind had started working and, despite all the very good reasons not to I find myself compelled to make the attempt.
We will not be making mud pies though, oh no, we will be cooking.
Recipe for Chaos ( and apricot tartlets)*.
Some pre-made pastry, rolled out
A tin of apricot halves, drained.
You will need
A cutter somewhat bigger than an apricot half
An oven tray, lined with baking parchment or greased
Something to cover the floor and any other surfaces.
First wash the baby thoroughly.
Since they don't make aprons in baby sizes it is probably wise to remove any clothes** you don't want to get sticky.
Cover the floor and any other surfaces that need covering, this is less to protect the floor than it is to save the flying ingredients.
Put down the rolled out pastry and show the baby how to cut out shapes with the cutter.
Give the baby the cutter and let them attempt to press it down on the pastry and cut some pieces out.
Try to keep the cutter, and any pieces of pastry, out of the baby's mouth.
Retrieve pastry cutouts from floor and arrange on baking tray.
Show the baby how to place an apricot half on a pastry cutout.
Let the baby try to place apricot halves on pastry for a while.
Try to keep the apricots out of the baby's mouth and off the floor.
Wish you had taken me seriously about that whole "cover the floor" thing.
Balance the last bits of apricot on whatever pastry is available and stick the whole lot into the oven for twenty minutes or so.
Remove from oven, allow to cool, serve to unwitting inlaws with the information that their darling grandchild made it for them.
Even these ones.
**From the baby, not you.